One story we hear time and time again is Catholic couples booking their reception venue before starting marriage prep… only to find out that you won’t finish Pre-Cana in time for your wedding date.
Now, you have the infamous dilemma: do you give up your dream venue or your sacred ceremony?
As a wedding planner, the last thing I want to see is someone having to sacrifice a church ceremony they were hoping for to celebrate at their dream venue.
Dilemmas like these are actually pretty easy to avoid, if you have someone on your side from the start. Someone who understands both the wedding planning and Pre-Cana process, which is exactly where your wedding coordinator comes into play.
No, not the church wedding coordinator.
Although they play a key role in the planning process too, we’re talking about a third-party wedding coordinator who partners with you and your church to coordinate your wedding day more holistically.
Understanding Your Wedding Coordinator vs Your Church Coordinator
Your wedding coordinator creates the time and space you need to keep you focused on your marriage, while your church coordinator walks you through the details of the marriage prep process.
Your wedding coordinator provides the framework for how to properly plan a church wedding, helps you avoid common pitfalls that raise concerns for your church, and organizes overall logistics for the day from sunrise to sunset. Your church coordinator, on the other hand, helps you choose between a full mass or partial ceremony, and confirms a ceremony start time that fits into the church schedule.
On the day of, your wedding coordinator and church coordinator work in tandem just like they have been doing throughout the planning process. While we might open the church doors simultaneously for your entrance, we are each supporting the ceremony in two very different ways overall.
Your church coordinator is deferring to the priest for when he is ready to start the ceremony, keeping the day on track to not overlap with morning or evening church activities, communicating with the church musicians, and making sure you have access to the Bridal Suite for a quiet moment before the ceremony begins.
Your wedding coordinator is running the rings from the photographer for detail photos to the best man to carry in for the procession.
We are setting out your aisle markers, making sure the bouquet your florist drops off is preset where the church wants it, until you offer it to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and making sure your vendors are aware of church policies before the church tells them day-of so they can arrive best-prepared to support your special day.
We are answering vendor questions, triple checking the groom stays hidden away until you’re ready to see each other, and tracking down your dad for his first look with you before the ceremony.
To sum it up-
Your church coordinator is focused on mass preparations, and making sure nothing related to the church or this sacrament has slipped through the cracks.
Your wedding coordinator is focused on YOU, vendor logistics, and organizing the overarching wedding day around your ceremony.
Our mission is to handle everything behind the scenes, supporting both you and your church coordinator, so you can be fully present, enjoying a peaceful afternoon focused on the sacrament of marriage.
And yes, that includes tracking down your best man at the bar across the street during post-ceremony photos (true story!)…
Prioritizing Your Marriage, Not Just the Wedding Day
A big part of that JJE mission isn’t just about the wedding day. It’s about handling everything behind the scenes so you can be focused on what matters most during your engagement season too!
It can be easy to forget that your marriage is more important than the wedding day. What does that exactly mean though?
Marrying within the Catholic Church starts with a marriage prep course, also known as Pre-Cana, meant to prepare you for a happy, lasting marriage centered around Catholic values. This process typically takes 6-9 months at minimum.
It may sound like a long time to wait for some couples who are eager to say “I Do”, but even 9 months can feel rushed once you’re in the thick of wedding planning. Without a wedding planner’s support, it’s all too easy for couples to lose sight of the significance of marriage as they get caught up in planning all of the wedding details.
What we DON’T want for you is to be so focused on figuring out timelines, vendor logistics, and design details that you feel like you’re just going through the motions of Pre-Cana, fitting it into your schedule as an afterthought.
As wedding coordinators, we help you stay on track with your wedding planning without detracting from your marriage prep.
Not only do we understand the significance of a church ceremony, but we also know how to support your parish without stepping on their toes.
We help you to have the best of both worlds: a wedding that has all of the colors, activities, and food that you dreamed of in addition to a ceremony that has sacred meaning.
We partner with your church coordinator to support the nuances of weddings at your parish, while also setting your vendor team up for success both within and outside of the church walls.
Ultimately, our goal is for you to stay focused on receiving the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and, most importantly, truly being able to enjoy this season of life along the way.
Being engaged is a special season in your relationship. It’s really important, and it’s gone in a blink.
Don’t forget to slow down and enjoy it, because once the wedding day comes, you can’t get it back… and the only things that remain are the fond memories and the foundation you’ve built for your marriage.
What Does “Handling Logistical Details” Actually Mean?
As you near your special day, our job as a wedding coordinator is to iron out all final details for the day, to ensure nothing slips through the cracks. Our couples often say “Oh, I never thought about that”… and that’s the whole point! While you’re enjoying date nights and deep conversations with your partner, we think about all of the minuscule details that impact your day like the wedding timeline, transportation logistics, and arranging post-ceremony photos most efficiently.
A church ceremony naturally has more time restrictions as you are allocated a limited amount of time in the space. Depending on the ceremony times your parish has available and your priorities for the day, we may even consider incorporating a Wedding Gap. Knowing the nuances of Catholic weddings, we draft your timeline for the day accordingly to ensure you’re able to make the most of the limited time you have.
We also work with your church to gather all the information your vendor team needs to know in advance, to do their job to the best of their ability! While you’re sitting around the fire pit talking about what you learned during your marriage prep weekend retreat, we are briefing your vendor team on church expectations and any restrictions in place to ensure the sacred space is respected. With a wedding coordinator, you can relax with your wedding party in the morning, knowing your photographers, videographers, and all other vendors are fully informed and have everything they need.
What sets a wedding coordinator apart from your church coordinator is that we handle the moving pieces outside of the mass, always keeping your personal priorities top of mind. For example, if you want a first touch to pray together but NOT a first look, it’s our job to ensure that you and your future spouse do not run into each other until you lock eyes while walking down the aisle. Our team is in constant communication with your church and vendors so that you can be present and just enjoy your special day.
Beyond what’s happening at the church, your wedding coordinator is also in charge of all of the logistics that come with the wedding morning and post-ceremony reception. While your Lead Wedding Planner is fluffing your dress before you walk down the aisle, the rest of the planning team is busy putting the final touches on your reception.
Remember- You’re Not the Host; You’re the Guests of Honor!
Let’s pause, take a deep breath, and picture yourself at your church in your wedding attire. The doors open and you are about to walk down the aisle, surrounded by all of your loved ones. You lock eyes with your soon-to-be spouse and it finally sets in that you are GETTING MARRIED!
In this moment, you are not the hosts for the day. You are the guests of honor– two people who have made the intentional decision to spend the rest of their lives loving one another. In this moment, you deserve to be fully present, fully focused on your soon to be spouse and the sacrament at hand.
It is easy to slide into a hosting mentality when planning your wedding, especially if you come from a culture that heavily focuses on being hospitable. Your wedding coordinator is there for peace of mind, giving you the freedom to be truly present, not getting distracted by what others may want or think. This guest of honor feeling should apply from getting ready through the sparkler send off, but it’s especially important to us during the heart of the day: the ceremony. When receiving the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, our wish for you is that you can be fully present, opening your heart to the significance of the covenant you’ve chosen to enter.
It breaks our hearts when we hear couples weren’t able to enjoy their day because they were too concerned about their guests enjoying the celebration or everything going right. Your wedding coordinator’s job is to handle the last minute adjustments so that you can dance the night away together.
Having a wedding coordinator and vendor team that you fully trust is the best gift you can give yourself. You should just be having fun and making memories while they do what they are best at!
What’s Next?
With the right support, you should never have to choose between enjoying your engagement or your wedding day, preparing for a beautiful marriage or the wedding of your Pinterest dreams, and honoring tradition or a personality-infused wedding reception.
You can have both the sacred ceremony AND a wedding reception that feels fully yours.
If you’re looking for a wedding coordinator who truly understands your faith and how to best partner with your church coordinator, JJE is the planner for you!
Inquire HERE for more information, or explore the details of how we approach Catholic weddings HERE.
By Selina Hanna, JJE Assistant Wedding Planner
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